


In Halves

by Haywire



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 03:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16209995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haywire/pseuds/Haywire
Summary: Nat looks back at her and Maria's history.





	In Halves

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flipflop_diva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/gifts).



Natasha wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She’d half-expected to see some blood there; Maria’s last strike confirmed the SHIELD agent wasn’t holding anything back, as promised.

They’d sparred several times since Nat was brought into the fold. Maria was her keeper, as it were, in charge of her assimilation (indoctrination in her mind, though she’d never say it aloud) into the division. It was Maria’s job to ensure Nat was safe to work with, as safe as one could determine at any rate.

Along with a battery of physical and psychological tests, Nat was expected to spar with Maria at least once a week. It kept her combat reflexes sharp and gave her mind a break from the rigorous testing at the same time, instead allowing her to fall back and rely on her baser instincts.

She got to her feet and faced Maria once more.

“You good?” she asked, standing in a fighting stance as she waited for Nat to stand back up.

“Mmm,” Nat replied, not willing to reveal just how hard that last hit had been. Instead of saying anything further, she took up a fighting stance herself and closed in on Maria, choosing to be the aggressor.

She feigned one strike and, when Maria shifted to one side to dodge it, closed the gap between them and aimed another blow at her head. It almost worked, too - Maria barely reacted in time and only partially blocked Nat’s punch. She was still able to use Nat’s momentum against her, however, and grabbed her outstretched arm, throwing her in the same direction and back against a nearby wall.

Winded by the impact, Nat slumped against the wall, sliding partly down its cold, hard surface. Maria was turning around to face her again, expecting that she’d be down for at least a few seconds with that hard of a landing.

Nat wasn’t going to let that happen.

Pushing off from the wall, Nat flew at Maria, a bold maneuver that left her wide open should Maria catch on and counterattack. This time, Maria didn’t see it coming, and Nat tackled her onto the ground.

Finding her second - third? Fourth? Nat had actually lost count - wind, Nat quickly straddled her prone instructor and raised her fist, pausing mid-air.

“Well done,” Maria said, tapping the mat on which they were wrestling. “Didn’t see that one coming, Romanov.”

“Thank you.” Nat stood up and offered her a hand, helping her to her feet, which she accepted.

“What made you think of trying that kind of stunt?” Hill asked, dusting herself off.

“Nothing, I suppose. Just instinct.” She hadn’t planned the move, and if she’d been really thinking about it, Nat probably wouldn’t have attempted it. It was a high risk strike and even though it had worked, it wasn’t something she’d normally have done.

“That’s good. Instinct.” Maria tapped the side of her head. “Forgetting what you know sometimes can actually let your other half take over, give you the edge in a fight. Half the fight is letting that happen, not overthinking and overanalyzing every move. Planning is important, but so is letting your instincts do what needs to be done.”

Nat just nodded, taking in Maria’s advice. It helped that not overthinking such things allowed her to forget the brainwashing she’d experienced years earlier. Perhaps it was a way for her to retain the skills and training she’d been given while disassociating it from the manipulation and control to which she was subject in order to get it in the first place.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said, not intending to make a pun but grinning just the same.

-

After the Avengers fended off Loki and his Chitauri invasion of New York City, Nat finally had some down time for the what felt like the first time in years. After Thor escorted Loki back to Asgard, the team went its separate ways, leaving Nat to her own devices.

For the first few weeks she lived a solitary life, keeping to herself and mainly staying in her apartment, ordering out for meals and parked in front of the television. She’d go out to jog or train on a regular basis, but other than that Nat kept to herself.

That got boring much faster than she expected. With Clint back home with his family, Bruce and Tony lord knew where, and Cap off doing Cap things, she eventually turned to the only other person she could think: Maria.

It had started out innocently enough; a meeting up for coffee here, having lunch together there. It quickly progressed to something more, however. Coffee turned into drinks at the bar, lunches turned into suppers, then why not enjoy a movie together? Which then turned into why not spend the night together?

During one such evening, Nat ambled out of bed and padded barefoot to the kitchen for something to drink. Maria remained in her bedroom, modesty making her pull the thin cotton sheets up over her naked form. Nat smirked at the sight when she came back with two bottles of water, tossing one at the other woman.

“Since when did you become so modest, hmm?” she jokingly inquired.

“Since I started dating an Avenger,” Maria quipped right back, catching the bottle in one hand and opening it with the other. “I have a reputation to uphold, don’t you know?”

Nat laughed and plopped down on the mattress beside her as Maria drank her water. “You say that as if I were an important part of the team.”

“But you are. Wait,” Maria said, laying her bottle down on a nearby nightstand. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Yes,” replied Nat before frowning. “Well, yes and no.” There was an element of truth in that statement, at least to her, and she knew better than to lie to Maria about it.

“Listen,” Maria started, turning to face Nat. “Here, give me your hands.” She reached out and took both of Nat’s reluctant hands into her own, looking her in the eye. “You’re just as important a member of the Avengers as Thor or Banner, and do you know why?”

“Because I have my own magical hammer, and because I’m super strong,” Nat answered with a smirk. “Oh, wait, nevermind.”

“It’s because you _don’t_ have those things that makes you important,” Maria said, ignoring the bad jokes and squeezing her hands a little. “It makes you human, something the team desperately needs if it’s going to be accepted by the rest of the world.”

“What about Barton?” asked Nat.

“Barton doesn’t count,” Maria said, perhaps too quickly. “Okay, he does count, but he was also possessed by Loki or whatever and you weren’t so there,” she finished, it being her turn to smirk a little.

Nat laughed but shook her head. “Thanks, but I don’t exactly see why that’s so important.”

“Because some of these guys, well, they’re gods. Literally, in Thor’s part, I suppose,” Maria said, tilting her head slightly as she thought on that. “But you’re not, and you’re their equal. They treat you as such, and they wouldn’t be able to do their jobs without you.”

“So I’m the human half of the team, is it?”

“You’re the grounded part of the team, the part that keeps the focused and keeps their feet to the fire. You legitimize their existence in this day and age.” Maria nodded, squeezing her hands again. “Why, do you think Steve would know where to even look for help these days? He’s still learning what a cell phone is.”

“It is kinda cute when he refers to them as walkie talkies,” agreed Nat.

“And how do you think Tony going to find Bruce would’ve turned out?”

“World War III would be a good guess,” Nat said.

“Exactly. Without you, the Avengers would just be a bunch of dudes breaking shit on a global scale. That half they have down pat, but your half balances it all out.”

“I don’t know about half, but thank you. I do appreciate the vote of confidence,” Nat said, leaning in and kissing Maria.

“Don’t underestimate yourself, Natasha.” Maria leaned back and gave her a longer kiss.

“You’re not half bad yourself,” mused Nat, letting go of Maria’s hands long enough to place her own back on the other woman, and all thoughts of any other Avengers disappeared once again.

-

Maria laid the glass of water on the table across from Nat, then sat down next to her. She didn’t say anything, letting the other woman work things out in her own time.

Reaching for the water, Nat’s hand shook ever so little, but it was still visible to them both. The water sloshed and swayed back and forth in the glass until a tiny dribble escaped over the rim, trailing down in one long, slow drop down the side of the glass.

Nat sighed and put the glass back down again. “It’s him.”

“The Winter Soldier?” prompted Maria, after a few seconds of silence. Nick and Steve had filled her in on what had apparently spooked Nat so much.

“He was an urban legend, a myth, while I was growing up,” she explained. “One parents would sometimes use to make their children go back to bed, or to stop misbehaving, that kind of thing.” A ghost of a smile played across Nat’s face for a second or two, memories of her family that she’d never spoken out loud.

“It was one also told to us while we were being trained, but not as a myth.” Her face had resumed its hardened appearance once again. “As a warning.”

“You’re going to be ok, Nat,” Maria started.

“No, none of us are going to be ok,” she interrupted, getting to her feet and taking a few steps toward a window. “He’s real, and for some reason he’s here, coming for us.” Nat turned around and looked at Maria. “For all of us.”

“You know we’re big enough to look after ourselves, yeah?” It was Maria’s turn to grin a little, even though she knew how serious Nat was taking this threat. “It’s going to take more than one guy to bring us all down, you know. More than one have tried, and none have succeeded.” She stood up and placed a had on Nat’s shoulder, gently squeezing it.

“He may not be alone though.” Nat turned away to look back out the window, though not so far as to lose Maria’s touch. “He was brainwashed, Maria. Like me. And they’ve reactivated him again after who knows how many years… what if that’s something they can still do to others?”

“Hey.” Realizing what Nat’s fear now was, Maria gently turned her around to face her once more. “That’s not going to happen. Not now, not ever. You’ve beaten that, Nat.”

“Have I?” Nat knew she had, but there was this kernel of doubt, deep inside her mind, that wondered if there were other seeds planted, hidden somewhere unbeknownst to her or to anyone else. “What if there are other ways, other methods, contingencies they made that we don’t know about?” She lowered her head, trying not to let her fears get the better of her. “I’m just terrified that I’ll let you all down, let _you_ down, that I’d…” Nat couldn’t finish her thought.

Maria pulled her closer, putting Nat’s head on her shoulder and stroking her hair. “There are two types of people in this world, Nat. There are many shades of grey, sure, but when you get down to it, there’s just two. There’s good, and there’s evil, and while there are many that muddy that line, eventually everyone had to make a choice.”

She gently lifted Nat’s head up until their eyes met. “You made your choice, and you’ve lived with that choice. You know it, deep inside. You’re not one of them.”

Silent tears leaked their way out of Nat’s eyes, and she nodded ever so slightly. Maria leaned in and kissed her on the forehead, then lowered her face, kissing the bridge of her nose, then leveling her lips next to Nat’s.

Nat kissed her back, closing her eyes and reaching one hand over Maria’s shoulder to carefully close the bedroom door behind them.

-

It had been less than an hour since Thanos had disappeared, taking half the universe with him. Nat, like everyone else, was still trying to wrestle with exactly what had just happened and where they went next.

The remaining members of the resistance had reconvened in Wakanda, and she found herself pacing back and forth on in an empty room inside T’Challa’s palace. In her hand she clutched her cell phone, which had 100% clear reception inside, thanks to the Wakandan technology.

She looked at her call log. There were several unanswered outgoing calls, and no missed incoming calls, especially from the one number which she was hoping to see.

Nat looked out a nearby window at the coming darkness. As day turned into night, she was pretty sure she knew what half she’d ended up on, and what half Maria was on.

She looked back down to her phone and dialed the number just one more time.


End file.
